Family Christmas Non-poem

I had a poem written out, and it was very fine.
The jokes were all hilarious, and the rhyming scheme divine.
I’ve done some poems in the past so good that to suggest
That this was even better—‘twere immodesty at best.
And yet, I mentioned Amy, the wedding set for May,
And welcomed her to the family in a personal sort of way;
And Danny and his injuries and Dwight’s ‘What Child is This?’.
I had a line that worked in Ozzie, Metallica and KISS.
I went from there to Heather and that March delivery thing—
A joke about March Hares and well, fertility rites in Spring
(A bit risqué perhaps, but always scrupulously sweet,
And the part about the Easter Bunny was entirely discreet).
I talked of home and family and the love that’s in our hearts
With the funny and the sappy all in roughly equal parts.
I told about grandparenthood; I bragged about each kid
And all the most remarkable things that each one ever did.
I had some lines for Jonny—you’d have laughed or you’d have cried,
And my verse, of course, for Laura was a source of personal pride.
My elegies to Edward were elegant and then some,
With a very cute allusion to ‘all of Kristindom’.

But, well, as luck would have it, the dog next door got out.
It’s not her fault—the poem should have not been left about.
That dog completely ruined the heritage papyrus
And then our old computer crashed—some sort of macrovirus.
Or maybe it was thieves, although we didn’t hear a sound,
It seems that there has been a lot of thievery around.
That’s what I get for writing it so far ahead of time.
Next year, I think I’m going back to the frantic mad-rush rhyme.

So Merry Christmas, and apologies that no poem will appear,
As you can see, it was not to be, but I’ll get it right next year.